Overanalyzing song lyrics

“Lighters” by Bad Meets Evil feat. Bruno Mars. Also known as Eminem, Bruno Mars, and that other guy.

The lyric I just don’t get: “Now his career’s LeBron’s jersey in twenty years.”

Why I don’t get it: What the hell does it mean? LeBron’s jersey in twenty years as in way too tight, assuming LeBron will gain weight by the time he is 47? To understand this lyric (I think) one must observe LeBron’s career. He spent a lot of time in Cleveland and was loved by just about everyone except me. He wore number 23. Then, proving that he was one of sports’ biggest assholes, he held a press conference to announce he was going to Miami, and his jersey number was now 6. Could this mean that in 20 years, his jersey number will be 17 lower than 6, being -11? Does this lyric mean that his career will be forgotten, as LeBron James might be in twenty years? Does this mean his career will be regarded as the best ever, as LeBron James might be in twenty years? I don’t know. Someone please help me.

“Fly” by Nicki Minaj feat. Rihanna

The lyric I just don’t get: “I am not fly; I am levitation. I represent an entire generation.”

Why I don’t get it: Let’s examine the first part first. I am not fly. Ok. Fly is often used as a word to describe someone cool, as an adjective. I am levitation. Ok…well levitation is a noun and what the hell does that mean? Flying and levitating are similar but different things. Is Nicki trying to say that she is cooler than fly, that she levitates? If she’s going to use levitation as a noun (which she does, since it is not an adjective) then I would think that being able to fly would be a lot cooler than being able to levitate. You could go anywhere, instead of just hover around awkwardly. And now the second part. Nicki Minaj claims to represent an entire generation. This is what really pisses me off. Never before has someone publicly said they represent an entire generation, even if they basically do. Not Babe Ruth, not Marilyn Monroe, not Frank Sinatra, not Elvis Presley, not John Lennon, not Michael Jackson, not William Shatner. So that just points out what a huge cocky asshole Nicki Minaj is. And secondly, how does she represent an entire generation? I’m only ten years younger than her, so I consider myself part of the same generation. Does she represent an entire generation by wearing weird stupid wigs and outfits? Umm…no. There are some people out there who do it (mostly to be like either her or Gaga) but  by no means does it come even close to a generation. Does she represent an entire generation by making weird faces when she raps? Again, no. Does she represent an entire generation by putting down the most painful (and pointless) verse in music history, on Dance (A$$) Remix by Big Sean in which she holds the most uncomfortable note in history for far too long? God, I hope not. What about by rapping on a Willow song? HELL NO.

“Grenade” by Bruno Mars

The lyric I just don’t get: The entire chorus.

Why I don’t get it: Catching a grenade for someone does by no means signify your love for them. Yeah, you’re willing to die for them, big deal, I get it. But if you happen to be with the person you love, catching the grenade could easily kill them. In a study I conducted using (formerly) living people, I tested how far Bruno has to be from this chick that he so loves in order for his grenade catching to be worth anything. My first study, with Bruno five feet and seven inches away from the woman (please note that this is a somewhat large distance for two people who love each other) left both Bruno and the woman dead. It turns out that a standard grenade has a blast radius of 49.21 feet. My second study had Bruno standing sixty feet away from the woman, which would keep her from the explosion. However, the blast fragments from the grenade could be launched an additional thirty feet, thus impaling her and holding her intestines together. In the third study there is a distance of 85 feet so no blast fragments hit her and she is unharmed. Basically, Bruno, you have to be 85 feet away from your woman to make an ounce of difference. And on top of all of this, what if the grenade is going to sail over their heads, and then Bruno makes his catch? That would kill them when they easily could have lived.

“Set Fire to Lorraine” by Adele

The lyric I just don’t get: Again, the entire chorus

Why I don’t get it: Why the hell does Adele want to set a woman named Lorraine on fire?

Sky’s the Limit by Lil Wayne

The lyric I just don’t get: “And when I was 5 my favorite movie was the Gremlins, ain’t got shit to do with this, but I just thought that I should mention”

Why I don’t get it: Basically in short, why was this included in a song? He literally says in the song that it has nothing to do with the song. Anyone who says that Lil Wayne is a great artist, I always point them to this lyric because it so mind-numbingly awful. This is the number one reason why I hate Lil Wayne; it has nothing to do with talent or the fact that all he does is smoke weed and butcher guitar solos. It is because he includes stupid and pointless lyrics in many of his songs. And yes, though this is clearly the worst example, it serves as a microcosm for many of his other lyrics which are quite bad. Also, can I just point out that the movie isn’t called The Gremlins; it’s Gremlins.

The Marksman - Short Film that I was a part of

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el1T1QZ2eWI&feature=g-all-u&context=G239452fFAAAAAAAANAA

2011 in Film

As I stated earlier, I didn't see a lot of the movies this year that I really wanted to see. I blame Hollywood for releasing all of the best films in limited theaters. Nevertheless, my ratings for each of the ones I saw.

Midnight in Paris - A
The King's Speech - B+ (What? I saw it in 2011)
The Adventures of Tintin - B
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 - B
Super 8 - B
Melancholia - B
Crazy, Stupid, Love - B-
The Adjustment Bureau - B-
Rise of the Planet of the Apes - C+
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - C
Season of the Witch - F

My Oscar Predictions

I went through the trouble of ranking them as well. I saw very few movies this year and I still really want to see My Week with Marilyn, Tree of Life, Tinker Tailor Solder Spy, Drive, Moneyball, The Artist, Jane Eyre, and J Edgar. Hopefully I'll get around to some of those at least.

Best Picture:

1.    1.   The Artist

2.    2.   Midnight in Paris

3.    3.   The Descendants

4.   4.    Moneyball

5.   5.    Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

6.    6.   Drive

7.    7.   Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

8.    8.   The Tree of Life

9.   9.    The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

10.10.   Hugo

Best Director:

1.   1.   Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist

2.   2.   Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris

3.    3.  Nicolas Winding Refn – Drive

4.    4.  Alexander Payne – The Descendants

5.   5. Tomas Alfredson – Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Best Actor:

1.   1.   Michael Fassbender – Shame

2.   2.   Leonardo DiCaprio – J Edgar

3.  3.    Gary Oldman – Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

4.  4.    George Clooney – The Descendants

5.  5.    Ryan Gosling – Drive

Best Actress:

1.  1.    Mia Wasikowska – Jane Eyre

2.  2.    Meryl Streep – Iron Lady

3.  3.    Michelle Williams – My Week with Marilyn

4.  4.    Rooney Mara – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

5.  5.    Kirsten Dunst – Melancholia

Best Supporting Actor:

1.  1.    Jonah Hill – Moneyball

2.  2.    Kenneth Branagh – My Week with Marilyn

3.  3.    Colin Firth – Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

4.  4.    Philip Seymour Hoffman – The Ides of March

5.  5.    John Goodman – The Artist

Best Supporting Actress:

1.  1.    Bryce Dallas Howard – The Help

2.  2.    Missi Pyle – The Artist

3.   3.   Cate Blanchett – Hanna

4.  4.    Marion Cotillard - Midnight in Paris

5.  5.    Emily Blunt – The Adjustment Bureau

Best Original Screenplay:

1.  1.    The Artist

2.  2.    Midnight in Paris

3.  3.    The Tree of Life

4.  4.    Hanna

5.  5.    Melancholia

Best Adapted Screenplay:

1.  1.    The Descendants

2.  2.    Moneyball

3.  3.    Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

4.  4.    My Week with Marilyn

5.  5.    The Help

A letter that I wrote to Metro North Railroad...

Dear Metro North,

            You may think this petty to bother writing a letter to you about a matter of two dollars, but I believe I should at least be heard out, because you have no idea how upset I actually was by what unfolded. Trust me when I say I would not be writing a letter unless I was greatly disconcerted. Everything that follows in this letter is true.

            On the morning of November 15, 2011, I took the 11:41 Metro North train from Fordham to Grand Central Station. It was on-time and I was eager to spend a full day in both Manhattan and Brooklyn. It so happened that it was an overcast day and there were drizzles here and there, to a point in which I felt like it may very well rain, so I spent a good deal inside at a Barnes and Noble and at Grand Central Station. At this point it was around 5 pm. I had already had a good time but I was also somewhat ready to go back to my residence at Fordham University. However, I had an off-peak ticket from a few weeks ago that expired on November 17, and being a college student far away from home, I did not want to spend any more money than was necessary.

            I looked up on the Internet using my mobile phone to see when peak and off-peak hours were, for it has always been an issue that has confused me. I saw that peak hours ended at 8 pm. I had three hours left and that was just fine to me. I was working on a short story that I started writing while in Williamsburg that day and I am also chipping away at reading one of James Joyce’s masterpieces, Finnegans Wake, which is a novel that requires hours of peace and quiet without interruption. I decided to stay until I indeed finished writing my story and I also read a few chapters of Joyce. At this point it was around 6:30 and I was getting antsy, so I decided to take a walk.

            Using my mobile phone, I sent textual messages to 266-266 to see when trains would be leaving for Fordham. Eventually I found out that there would be an 8:00 train from Grand Central to Fordham, scheduled to be both on-time and arriving at Fordham at 8:17. Seeing as how it has been a handful of emotionally traumatic hours since then, I cannot accurately report my thoughts to you verbatim, but I can say they were something like this: “That’s perfect, right when off-peak hours starts. That means I’ll be back to Fordham with enough time to talk to my resident assistant about a hall meeting that I missed as well as study.”

            I boarded the train on Track 30 at Grand Central a little before 8 o’clock. I sat down and after a good period of time, I realized I could not find my ticket. I looked through both my pockets, every niche and curve of my backpack, and eventually frantically throughout the corridors of the station. I had no luck, or at least none that happened to be good. I went to a ticket machine and frustratingly bought a $5.75 off-peak ticket at 7:55.

            I re-boarded the train at what must have been about 7:57. I cannot remember exactly because I did not check the time. In all other instances in this letter when I list a specific time, it was when I checked the time on my phone. Shortly after I sat down in my seat on the train across from a fellow Fordham University student whom I did not recognize and next to a businessman who smelled vaguely of bleu cheese, the train began moving and a voice spoke saying that it was a peak train and that anyone with an off-peak ticket would be charged an additional two dollars. I thought this was a mistake. I checked my phone right when the train began moving and it was 8:01. 8:01 is indeed after 8, is it not? Then why, if peak hours end at 8, is a train that leaves at 8:01 considered peak? That question has now been baffling me for hours.

            When the man came around to me and took my ticket, eventually taking the extra $2 from me as well, I could not help but recall other times in which I had witnessed similar things. I believe the first time I took the Metro North back to Fordham I had an off-peak ticket and the lady made me pay two extra dollars. I have no complaints about that instance and the reason why I had an off-peak ticket was because I was unaware of the peak/off-peak schedule at the time. Since then, I have been more adept. Of course this all changed when my family visited me one weekend in October. We took the Metro North on a Saturday, foolishly buying two-way off-peak tickets. The lady who took our tickets informed us that we could have gotten city tickets for cheaper, but she did not offer to pay us back. That did not really strike me as odd, because it was indeed our mistake. The next week, however, I was on a train in which the woman sitting next to me had a peak ticket during an off-peak hour. The man who took her ticket gave her some money back, saying that he did not wish to rip her off at all. I thought that was very nice of him at the time and then I stopped and thought that although it was nice, it was the perfectly normal thing to do. If one goes to a store to buy something that costs $2.75 and then says, “I only have a ten” while reaching into his or her wallet and grabbing a $5 bill that they did not realize was there, the cashier is not going to give $2.25 back as change. That would be immoral and no less than stealing.

            I have taken the liberty of including the receipt that I got for having my $2 taken from me. Please note that the time says 8:08:58 pm, and I have highlighted this as well.

            I am very disappointed in the Metro North at this point and I must say that I doubt whether or not I will ever use it again. It may just be $2 but I view it as a microcosm for a company that appears to not care for its customers. I may only be one person but I do happen to hold a good deal of weight in the Fordham community. I author a blog that currently has 219 followers, many of which in the Fordham community, and I write for the Ram newspaper.

Sincerely,

Patrick Mullen