Frustration

Monster a Go-Go is not the worst movie I've ever seen. I mean yes, it's just awful. It was made in the '60s and looks like it was made in the '30s, true, and the acting is laughable, yes, but it is still better than a lot of awful movies I've seen. In my upcoming list of worst movies ever made, you will notice that I give preference to modern movies with significant budgets when picking the worst films of all time.

But Monster a Go-Go does have (in addition to arguably the dumbest title ever) the absolute stupidest conclusion/climax EVER and I'm going to carefully articulate just how stupid and offensive it is.

The plot is that there is this guy who goes out to space or whatever and comes back but he's nowhere near the ship thing that crashed or whatever. But what there is is a giant radioactive monster that kills people that these couple scientists believe to be the astronaut. They treat him for a while and then he escapes and he's on the run. The military is after him and the film makes it clear that he's in a tunnel underground. Then the film also makes it painfully clear that the two people following him are in the same tunnel.

And then, in the DUMBEST moment ever on film, the narrator explains that the monster just isn't there, that it's just disappeared or whatever. And then they get a telegram saying the astronaut was found 8000 miles away. WHAT?!

So let's analyze this. This means that the guy is alive. This also means that he wound up 8000 miles away from his ship. How? That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. But then what the hell was the monster thing? Is the ending supposed to try and make us feel like there's a monster on the loose? Because that's not working. No fear can ever be felt while watching such an awful movie. I really don't get it. Can someone who's seen this movie--either of you--explain this to me please?

I Complain a Lot

I am aware that I complain a lot about random stuff, but really, the Best Buy on Fordham Road in the Bronx, New York is absolutely ridiculous.

Why is it ridiculous, you ask? Well first of all there's the computer service or whatever. My computer got a virus at one time and deleted all my programs. I took it in and they asked me like 500 questions and they said they'd have it fixed in 4-7 days and they'd call me. 9 days later without a call I went in and asked about it. They said it had been done for a while. But we turned it on and it didn't work. It turns out that the lady that asked me a bunch of questions ended up writing down the wrong information and the work that they did on my computer only lasted about 5 minutes. So they had to fix it again...

But what bothers me about that Best Buy most of all is its disorganization.  Now I am aware that it's in the Bronx and a bad neighborhood, but that's no excuse to have Lil Wayne cds in the ROCK/POP section right next to The Beatles. The organization of CDs follows no genre restrictions, logic, or any rules of conduct that any 7-year-old could do themselves. CDs are overturned, mixed into the wrong section, or by the DVDs. It's just a mess and it hurts my eyes and brain to look at, to be perfectly honest.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror - the worst movie ever

“What did you do last Friday night?”

            “Went to a party. It was awesome. You?”

            What did I do last Friday night? How could I possibly put it to words? I did indeed participate in the most meaningless hour and thirty-three minutes of my life. Doing so, I most likely took a few years off of my own life. I laughed. I cried. I tore my hair out. I screamed but not out of fear.

            There are very few movies that I can honestly say have changed my life. These are films that could either change the way we view life or perhaps even just the way we view cinema, if it’s ground-breaking enough. Movies like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Citizen Kane, and Pulp Fiction come to mind, but then there’s this little 2008 cult film, largely unknown to the populace. I am talking of course of the film that is Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

            The first thing you notice is the title. Birdemic. Has there ever been a sillier word written in the history of mankind? And as for the subtitle…well…it’s simply both shocking and terrifying that this film was made.

            The plot is like Hitchcock’s The Birds. But the movie sucks. It’s horrible beyond words. The acting is cringe-inducing as well as the dialogue, the directing is troubled to say the least, and the sound and editing appear to have been handled by a kindergartner. And the special effects are beyond awful. Now special effects don’t make a movie and I don’t often complain about special effects. I can accept dated special effects and enjoy movies like The Day the Earth Stood Still and The Birds. But both those movies look like Avatar when compared to Birdemic. When your entire movie revolves around birds attacking people and they appear to have come from Microsoft ClipArt, it’s never a good sign.

            Seriously the visual effects are just hilarious, but they might not even be the worst thing about this movie. Everything is just unnatural—the acting, the dialogue, the film’s soundtrack which appears to have just been taken from your generic computer program.

            So it’s a movie about birds attacking, right? Yes. Yes it is.

            But it’s not. Nothing like that happens until almost an hour into the movie. Instead we have to watch the main character drive around for like ten minutes, with some of the most awkward cinematography ever. While he’s driving his Mustang, the camera is looking out the windshield while the credits role. But the camera is at the weirdest angle and overall it’s just very unpleasant to the eyes. And then the main character eventually gets out of his car and has the most unnatural walk that I can’t even describe. It’s like he’s walking less than a mile an hour. And then he enters the restaurant and this is the first indication that the film has a major problem in its audio (other than the painfully annoying credit music). The film jumps from incredibly loud background noise—to a point in which the waitress’s words are hardly identifiable—to dead silence and then back to incredibly loud. And this happens frequently throughout the movie—like more times than I can count.

            So the main character stares at this one attractive woman while she eats and then she leaves and he follows without paying for whatever the hell it is that he bought. He catches up with her and he finds out that he went to high school with her. And then he asks her where she’s from. And he says where he’s from and it isn’t where she’s from so how did they go to high school together? Anyways apparently she’s a fashion model, he’s like a salesman or something for something and they exchange business cards. So he’s Rod and she’s Nathalie or whatever.

            This movie has obnoxious environmental overtones. It’s clear that writer/director/producer James Nguyen does not know the meaning of the word “subtle”. People complain about global warming throughout the entire movie, there’s a bunch of random stuff about solar panels and things like that, the camera zooms in on the prices of a gas station in one shot, so it’s no surprise that eventually it’s revealed that the reason the birds are attacking is because of global warming and stuff. But there’s plenty to talk about for before we even get to the birdemic scenes.

            So eventually this “relationship” progresses between the two characters. They go on a date, they meet her mother, and then they recap all of what’s happened like multiple times or whatever. And none of the dialogue sounds remotely realistic. They don’t sound like real people talking and every line of dialogue is awkward, usually explains more than is necessary, and the people who are friends don’t seem to know each other at all based on their dialogue.

            Then we’re introduced to two random characters having sex in a bedroom with clothes on and an “Imaginepeace.com” poster up for no reason. The woman is Nathalie’s best friend and the guy is Rod’s best friend, apparently. So they eventually have a double date. But the strangest part about this scene—along with the distracting poster—is that there’s an instrumental 32-bit cover of John Lennon’s “Imagine” playing. Why? And this apparently like becomes a motif or whatever for whenever we see this woman. When they go on a double date, she’s wearing an Imagine Peace t-shirt and later on when they run into them during the birdemic, that stupid song is playing again.

            So on their double-date they go and see The Inconvenient Truth and then they spell it out for the audience that this is a movie about the environment because the characters say they are going to get green cars and stuff. Then Nathalie and Rod continue to go on dates or whatever. When’s the birdemic going to come? Even as like a b-monster movie this is incredibly weak because nothing happens for like forever. They walk on the beach and it’s so windy that you can hardly hear what they’re saying. Then they see a dead bird and act like it’s an incredibly huge deal. Why? It’s a dead bird; it’s something to point out but not like dwell on. But they go by it and it’s clearly fake; it looks like ClipArt. And so that happens. It doesn’t really pertain to the future plot because although there is indeed a bird, the birdemic isn’t that birds die. They attack people.

            So then Rod and Nathalie go to like this bar where they’re the only people there and there’s this one dude who sings an R&B song that’s surprisingly catchy and they dance emphatically to it. But they’re the only ones there…so it’s strange. Then they go have sex in a hotel room for some reason except they’re clothed. It’s just strange.

            Then the birds finally attack. Except it’s like the next day or whatever and you never see the start of the attack, you just see a bunch of ClipArt birds who have seemingly been attacking the city for hours already. How do I know this? Because there’s already fires all over the city (again, ClipArt fires). And the birds make plane noises for whatever reason and just crash into stuff, causing explosions. It’s unclear if the birds themselves are exploding or they’re crashing into stuff that explodes. And if you care at this point then there’s something wrong with you.

            So Nathalie and Rod wake up and see that the birds are trying to come inside, so they escape to another hotel room where they run into an ex-Marine and his girlfriend. Then they run to the Marine’s car, defending themselves with wire hangers. When they’re in the car the dude apparently has a bunch of guns or whatever, including a machine gun. Why? Wouldn’t that be a major felony for him to have those in his car if he were to be pulled over for any reason? And besides, he was just in a hotel with his girlfriend, most likely on vacation. Why would he bring guns while he’s just with his girlfriend? And the guns, by the way, look like guns you might use in a game of laser tag.

            So they drive away and pick up two bratty kids who have no enthusiasm whatsoever for the dialogue they have to deliver. So they’re driving around, stealing food and water from a deli, and then driving around more, and then they have a picnic by the beach for no reason. They run into this scientist dude who—in my favorite scene in the film—flawlessly switches the subject from birds attacking to global warming causing viruses that affect all the birds and kill them. So at this point you’re aware that global warming is causing the birds to attack, according to the movie.

            Then the Marine’s girlfriend is killed while going to the bathroom in the field. Why did she think that was a good idea? So they drive around more and shoot more birds and come across a double-decker bus with three people in it pressed up against the windows, with some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen. I don’t care if they’re extras, that’s just inexcusable. The Marine runs in and brings them out, insisting that they’ll be safe after they have shot the birds with their toy guns. So they come out and more birds come. They shoot a bird and it like explodes or something and a bunch of yellow acid(?) drops all over them ala Alien. They scream and wail in pain (or it could have been over why they were in that movie but if that’s the case, good heads-up by the cameraman to catch that) and then they’re attacked by birds. Their faces are bloody and stuff even though if you look at where the birds are placed they are actually nowhere near their faces. So anyways all four of them die and now it’s just Rod, Nathalie, and those two stupid kids.

            They drive around again. They need to get gas so they go to this one gas station and the door is opened and the place is evidently unaffected by the birds but the attendant mentions the birds. I don’t get it. And he charges them $100 a gallon. And for reasons that I don’t know if I’ll be able to fully explain, this is just the strangest scene I’ve ever witnessed in a movie. There’s this weird, blurred-out feel to the entire thing. It’s like they’re not even in a gas station and they just projected a gas station in post-production. But there’s no way this movie had the money for that. I think it’s just that every product name is blurred out so they don’t get sued, but there are so many products that it’s disorienting actually. The kids grab some candy bars. The boy seems to enjoy his SDHFPKHWP bar and the girl enjoys her FOIWEIEU bar as well.

            They drive again and pull over to help this one cowboy who needs gas. They said they can’t help him but they offer him a ride. And then he pulls out a gun and says they need to sell him gas. Why sell? If you have a gun you might as well just take the damn gas. So they give him the gas and he backs away, going in the opposite direction of his car, and then a bird swoops by and slits his throat, killing him. Rod then gets in the car and drives away. Now it’s basically a cliché in horror movies to do stupid things. People drop things and leave them, don’t close doors—things like that. But usually there’s at least some kind of an excuse, like they’re on the run and in a hurry or whatever. Here they have all the time in the world. The bird that killed the cowboy flew away and there are no other birds present. There is virtually NO excuse for him not to take the extra gas or gun.

So they drive again. They come to a lighthouse. Nathalie says that’s where her friend is. Why? Does she work at a lighthouse? Does she live in a lighthouse? Why else would she be at a lighthouse? I think she like recognized the car or whatever but she clearly points at the lighthouse instead of the car on the side of the road. So they go to the car which has open windows and the friends are dead, 32-bit “Imagine” playing again.

At some point they go in the woods for some reason and come across this really creepy looking guy who is hilarious in his lack of subtlety. He lives in a tree and says he’s safe from the birds because they only attack people in cars and gas stations. How does he know that if he just lives in a tree in the middle of the woods? It’s established that his treehouse isn’t even high up in the tree so it’s not like he has a good view of anything that isn’t ten feet away from him. And he lectures about how the birds don’t scare him at all but forest fires do. So the group of people go back to their car and kind of encounter a forest fire except not really.

 Then they go to catch some fish to eat at a beach. And this is another one of my favorite moments in the film. Rod opens the trunk to see what he can get to get food. “Oh, look, a fishing pole,” he says. “I can catch some fish with it. Oh, look, a stove. I can cook it.” The horrible writing combined with the lackadaisical tone of the actor playing Rod just make this such a joy to watch. It’s the little things in life.

            So they cook seaweed and a fish—not skinned by the way. Then the kids don’t want to eat. Then more birds come. Then they run back to the car and run out of ammo. A bird goes kamikaze and cracks the windshield a little bit, dying. Are these birds organized? Did that bird think it could survive that collision, or did it have like a needs-of-the-many-outweigh-the-needs-of-the-few attitude? I don’t get it.

            Then the birds leave because other smaller birds come. Doves? I’m not sure. So apparently all is well even though the birds have left plenty of times during the movie, but I guess the eighth time is the charm or whatever. So they all go to the beach and look the sea. And you honestly can’t hear the last line of the movie because the sound is so messed up. And then it ends.

            So what are the themes of Birdemic? Clearly it’s a cautionary tale about human beings’ harmful carbon emissions or whatever. But I think it goes much deeper than that. It’s an allegory, really, of how pre-marital sex contributes to the downfall of contemporary society. The movie has nothing to do with birds until after the two main characters have sex and their friends who constantly talk about sex are killed. It’s like a slasher movie in this sense, I guess. I don’t really know.

            This is an extremely entertaining movie in the sense that you never will not be laughing. You may pull out some hair and you will definitely lose brain cells, but you will have plenty of laughs. And it’s on Netflix: Watch Now or Instantly or whatever, so check it out.

A comprehensive study and review of Joyce's Ulysses

            James Joyce’s Ulysses is said by many to be the greatest novel ever written. Having just now read it, I can easily say it is the most complicated. Extremely controversial and influential for its time, it is clearly the work of one of the greatest geniuses of the twentieth century.

            It could be argued—and it has, actually—that Ulysses has no plot. It’s a re-telling of The Odyssey but only in some small areas, such as some parallels and character correspondences. The novel—despite being over 600 pages in length—chronicles a day in the life of Leopold Bloom and Stephen Dedalus, from 8 am of June 16 to 2 am at the beginning of the final chapter the next day. The detail it goes into in terms of how the minds of these two characters—as well as a host of others, most notably Molly Bloom—is truly remarkable and is yet to be duplicated. It’s very difficult to discuss single moments of this novel without discussing the novel as a whole. That’s mostly because not much happens in terms of plot, though the novel is filled with moments of symbolic meaning throughout.

            Ulysses certainly has a style all its own. It’s been documented as stream-of-consciousness, of which James Joyce was the master of, though it really goes a lot further than that. The novel has dozens of narrators—many of which are implied to be average Dubliners—who are not identified. What I love about this novel and what makes it such a joy to read and to study is that virtually every word is an enigma. Many of it does not make a lot of sense and if you are to read it—particularly without supplemental study sources—you will be thoroughly confused. But the genius of Joyce is that everything has meaning. Why does Stephen Dedalus claim God is a shout in the street? What is the significance of the Dignam funeral? Why do Bloom and Dedalus have hallucinations in the red-light district and what do they mean? I’m not certain these questions can be objectively answered but there is virtually meaning behind everything.

            The novel opens with Stephen and his roommate Buck Mulligan. The latter is symbolically making a mockery of the Catholic mass. Religion is a very important and prevalent symbol in Ulysses and it makes sense that it is. Joyce was raised Irish-Catholic but as a teenager left the Church but by most people’s reports, still had Christian faith. Viewing his work from both a Catholic and non-Catholic perspective is really a unique experience. My favorite instance of this was in “The Sisters,” the first short story in his book Dubliners. The ending is left somewhat open-ended, though the Catholic perspective shows Father Flynn to have “lost it” but a non-Catholic perspective may show Father Flynn to have gained enlightenment or at the very least understanding. That’s Joyce’s unique style of not spelling out anything to his readers and he does perhaps a better job of that than any other writer except perhaps Shakespeare or Hemingway. Joyce never tells you that Ulysses is important. In fact, based on what happens in the novel, he almost tells you otherwise. But through the words and the symbolism and hidden deeper meanings in the language, you know that it means everything.

The complexity of this novel is downright incredible. It literally covers every theme it possibly can. It delves into infidelity, the (im)morality of suicide, racism and discrimination against both Jews and the Irish, differences between Christianity and Catholicism, sex, love, art versus science, and the list goes on and on. Joyce pulls pieces from just about everything—reinforcing my art history professor’s claim that God is the only original creator and all other creations are copies—including Shakespeare (primarily Hamlet but a few parallels can be made between Leopold Bloom and Shylock of The Merchant of Venice), Milton, Irish history and folklore (with many references to Parnell and Irish songs and poems), the Bible, Thomas Aquinas, and of course Homer, among others. Joyce adds to the complexity of his narrative by using virtually every single literary device in the books. Sentences range from one word to 4,391 words, with only two marks of punctuation in the final chapter. It also contains the longest palindrome in the dictionary. Thoughts are free and often times seemingly not connected. New words are invented, old words combined into one. A purist of the English language might so much as scream if they were to read a single episode.

Joyce may very well have reinvented literature with his writing Ulysses, just as Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky and Shakespeare had before him. No longer would the rationality of thought or rules of language constrain the writer. With Ulysses nonconformity became the norm—or at least acceptable.

Ulysses introduces the reader to a chorus of memorably eccentric Dubliners, simultaneously both developed and underdeveloped. While the narrative certainly does not follow characters like Buck Mulligan and Simon Dedalus, they do add a lot of depth to the novel.

Though it may hardly be worth talking about, my favorite scene of the novel is when Stephen is beaten by a policeman in the street for insulting the British King. It is a great moment because as always it shows Dedalus’s superior intelligence and wisdom in just the way it speaks, but it also serves as a microcosm for the macrocosm that is British rule over Ireland. Though Ireland is now a free country in itself, for centuries it was ruled over by England, oftentimes unjustly and even tyrannically. That’s also what makes Leopold Bloom so interesting as a character. He is an Irishman, so he is automatically looked down upon by the English, but he is also a Jew, and thus he is discriminated against by even the Irish.

Leopold Bloom and Stephen Dedalus may be the greatest characters ever created in literature. They literally feel like real people because as they narrate, the narrative seems to follow real thoughts, however idiosyncratic they may be For instance, when Bloom gets hungry, the narrative starts taking imagery of all sorts of different foods, though Joyce never explicitly tells the reader that Bloom wants to eat.

I once read somewhere that Leopold Bloom may be the most detailed character in the history of literature. With Joyce’s stream-of-consciousness technique, the reader can follow all his thoughts. Bloom is far from a perfect protagonist. In fact, as the novel progresses, it is revealed that he is incredibly unfaithful to his wife, sometimes to an exaggerated degree. Another one of my favorite scenes is when Bloom hallucinates that he is on trial with all the women he has had sex with and given false promises to. This scene is also written completely as a play which makes it very unique. It is revealed that he is a very slimy man, to again an exaggerated degree. I interpreted this as not to be taken literally (it is a hallucination after all, or at least partly a hallucination) but as his guilty conscience. His guilt builds and builds and builds to a point that things end up erupting once Stephen becomes involved and breaks the chandelier and gets punched by the police officer. However the irony is that Bloom does not end up apologizing because he is distracted during the climax of this scene.

            Stephen is an intellectual, certainly a genius. This isn’t the first work Dedalus appears in; he is the protagonist of The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and many modern critics consider him to be the persona narrating the first three short stories of Dubliners. Critics also say—and I do not see how this is not the truth—that Dedalus is a young version of James Joyce, early in his twenties in this novel. He thinks in such abstract terms—in multiple languages, actually; he seems to know a good deal of Latin and French—and analyzes everything to a point that the reader may become very confused if not annoyed. He is a parallel to both Prince Hamlet and Telemachus of The Odyssey and when he finally meets up with Bloom, it does not disappoint. Joyce teases the reader a few different times by having them almost meet, though they do not officially meet until about 500 pages in. And when they do meet, in some of the most unique and extraordinary writing I’ve ever read, they virtually—with almost no dialogue—are compared and contrasted to a point in which their characters are completely fleshed out.

            The last main character is Molly Bloom, Leopold’s wife. She is not introduced until about 600 pages into the novel, though much of the novel revolves around her. For those that say Ulysses has a plot, I suppose the main plot would be that Bloom is trying to get back to his wife, whom he knows is having an affair. She is certainly the focus of the last part of the novel, which contains the trial scene and just about all of Leopold’s infidelity as well as her epic soliloquy in the final chapter. Like Bloom, she is far from perfect. Though the reader may have sympathy for her because of how disgusting her husband apparently is, the reader also sees that she completely involves herself in the physicality of the earth. She desires more money to buy more expensive and better looking clothes and it’s clear in her soliloquy that she is obsessed with sex and physical attractions, which may or may not be a result of her ten-year celibacy while in her marriage. She looks back at all the relationships she had in the past in both a nostalgic and longing value, wondering what would have happened with her singing career and her personal relationships had she not married Leopold. The last thought of her soliloquy—and thus the finale of the novel—is her remembering her acceptance of Bloom’s proposal, implying that she has the desire to fix the problems of her marriage, though there are many. This is a very endearing statement on love, in my opinion. Though they are no longer young like they were when they were first married, they (Molly, anyways) wants to go back to the way things used to be, the way things should be. But at the same time, there isn’t hope for them. Because love is a two-way street and it is not completely certain to the reader that Leopold wants to make any efforts. Though it’s clear he feels guilty about a great deal he’s done, he has not resolved to change his ways. In fact, a thought he had (though far prior to his King Lear-like trial) made it appear that he no longer cares for Molly. And using the mystery that Joyce is so great with, it isn’t clear if this is just self-deception because Bloom is aware that Molly is having an affair. It could be either. Many say that the novel never ends, and that Molly and Leopold Bloom sleep on into eternity. Though it’s a very strange way to look at it, I do understand why people would think this. There appears to be no resolve in this relationship because there are such polarizing feelings by the two spouses. What is meant by the ending or what actually happens is largely unknown. Just as what Bloom was going to write in the sand, what the word known to all men is (which I would say is “death” but I believe Joyce implies is either “love” or “life”), and perhaps most mysterious of all, what “U.p. up” means, which makes the strangest motif I’ve ever seen.

            Ulysses truly needs to be read to be appreciated. It may not even be understood but the great thing is that it leaves so many questions that are perfect for discussion with other intelligent people. And if nothing else, the beauty of the language alone makes it worth reading.

Earbuds - The Greatest Thing on Earth

There have been lots of studies and stuff about how iPods, MP3 players, and earbuds are very much hurting our youth's hearing. In fact, in one anonymous study, 88% of people from ages 11-30 will be deaf within the next 3 minutes.

All that having been said, I am proposing that earbuds have been one of the greatest inventions ever. Hyperbole, but still. First off, they go in your ear. It's a personal thing. You have a perfectly good excuse to not lend them to someone and have them end up losing them. It's like "Dude, they kinda go inside my ear, you know?" Headphones in the traditional sense are not nearly as personal. Anyone can wear them.

Secondly, there's the fact that it really absorbs you into the music you're listening to. I've never worn like a really good pair of headphones like Beats by Dre or anything like that, but for the most part, for a reasonable price you can hear high-quality music and nothing but high-quality music. I walked around New York City yesterday, absorbing myself in the sounds of Billy Joel and Jay-Z, hardly hearing any background noise. It's truly a unique experience that headphones can't duplicate.

And the third reason why they are great is an offshoot of the second. Again, coming in use in a big city. Even if you don't have music playing you can ignore people around you with a perfectly good excuse that you are listening to music. If someone asks you for some money you can act like you didn't hear them. This may make me sound like a heartless asshole (it's been proposed before, don't worry) but the fact is that no one wants to be bothered by people asking for money, especially when a great deal of it is fraudulent anyways.

Keep making earbuds.

I'm from Wisconsin...

Well I'm from the upper-Midwest and have never come even close to being in a hurricane. I've gotten tornadoes kind of near me but never anything serious. That having been said, I was moving into college at Fordham University in New York City when Hurricane Irene struck.

Now I should amend this post by saying Hurricane Irene wasn't nearly as big a deal as the news made it out to be. The fact that a hurricane (or tropical storm, according to many) even hit New York/New Jersey made it the biggest news story for like a week and it got really annoying. I didn't know what to expect when it was coming, and here are my experiences.

My parents and I were in a hotel in Nanuet, NY when the hurricane struck either late at night or early in the morning. I can't honestly say when because I was asleep and apparently slept through the majority of it. That right off the bat goes to show that it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean the amount of rainfall that accumulated was quite incredible and all, but the hurricane itself wasn't a big deal at all. My particular hotel ended up being without power for about 14 hours so that was very annoying. I texted a few of my friends just for the sake of talking, and I sent pictures to a few. By the way, these people were scattered throughout Wisconsin and Minnesota, so it was somewhat mind-blowing to them, I'm sure.

My favorite part of the whole hurricane thing had to be the lobby of the hotel, with the group of hurricane survivors around and interacting. I couldn't help but imagine myself in a kind of post-apocalyptic zombie setting with all these people locking themselves into a hotel to survive. What? I never claimed to be normal.

But people are weird, and I definitely noticed that during the midst of Irene. I mean really, do we really need to perform yoga in the pitch-black hotel lobby in front of everybody else? I mean, come on! People doing yoga in public is just weird; it just shouldn't happen. It's just very unnatural and if you do it in the middle of Central Park, anyone who doesn't stare at you is pretty damn weird IMO.

I took a pretty laid back approach to the whole hurricane thing and tried to enjoy it. I mean, sure, there were moments in which I was kind of panicking, but more just because everyone around me was panicking. I felt strange that I was so calm for the most part. There were literally people flipping out because they couldn't get the morning edition of the Times.

So I moved into college the next day without incident. But I am pleased to say that I survived a hurricane, something that I may never have to go through again. And now I'm a member of Fordham University 2015 - Class of Irene.

Romeo + Juliet

Romeo + Juliet is a very good film but it takes a tremendous amount of getting used to. I'll start off by saying I am a Shakespeare fan but I'm not going to say I'm a Shakespeare purist, so I'm okay with director Baz Luhrmann (I did not make up that name) updating the setting to modern-day. I realize that most people probably won't watch any Shakespeare unless some changes like that are made and I'm okay with that.

But Luhrmann does far more than just change the setting; he creates an entire atmosphere and visual style that is completely his own. I've never seen any other films by this director but I can tell you just from watching this that he's talented.


That having been said, the beginning to this film is awful. The first ten minutes you really get the impression that you're watching a movie trailer rather than an actual movie. Everything's jumpy, words appear on-screen to show you who the characters are, and the Capulets and the Montagues overact to a point where it's obnoxious. But this movie--despite its updated setting--keeps all the original dialogue including words like "sword" which is apparently a gun manufacturer now and "longsword" which is a shotgun. I dare you not to laugh when that's first introduced.

Like I said, this movie takes some getting used to. The beginning was very bad. The character of Benvolio (the peace-maker) was just about ruined when he was one of the first to draw his gun and just the whole opening sequence is a mess. And then there comes Leonardo Dicaprio as Romeo. This man is a great actor and I'd go so far as to say this is his best performance behind only The Aviator.

The chemistry between Romeo and Juliet (Claire Danes) is excellent and exactly what you'd hope for in a movie about star-cross'd lovers. I read that Juliet was initially supposed to be Natalie Portman but she was cut from the film because the age difference made it look like Dicaprio was molesting her. Nevertheless Claire Danes does a great job.

The most appealing thing about this movie other than the chemistry between the two leads would have to be the visual style. I'm not so sure I can explain it, but there's lots of flashy lights and colors and great cinematography. It's not annoying like a Joel Schumacher Batman movie, either; it really works. And I love how emotional this movie is, due to both the directing and the acting from people like Dicaprio. Luhrmann makes brilliant use of music, specifically a remix of "Talk Show Host" by Radiohead which perfectly compliments Dicaprio's character's melancholy.

Definitely see this movie and don't turn it off in the beginning because you might want to. But give it a chance. It's an extremely emotionally-involving version of Shakespeare and certainly keeps the tone while doing something completely unique.