If there's one thing I've learned in my time of being a casual NBA fan that for the most part doesn't have time to watch basketball except for during the playoffs, it's that the Miami Heat is a shameless team. They're shameless for a number of reasons, notably their ability to flop at every man that comes across their path and somehow getting just about every call, but also for their concept of revenge.
Now I'm not a Miami Heat hater for no reason at all. I actually have some respect for LeBron James as I cannot see one fault in his game and he always makes everyone around him better. Dwyane Wade on the other hand...I hate him. I haven't hated a single player in the NBA so much since Dikembe Mutombo got away with multiple goaltendings against Jason Caffey in game 7 of the 2001 or whatever Eastern Conference Finals.
I'm going to start off with a few comments on the Pacers series. The incident that first sparked my interest was Tyler Hansbrough fouling Dwyane Wade in the head. It was a hard foul but his intent was undoubtedly for the ball. On the next possession, Hansbrough had a wide-open jumper that he took while Udonis Haslem jumped in with both hands to the white guy's face. Yes, he was called for a technical, but if I were a referee, I would have tossed the little shit out of the game. He had no shame whatsoever; in fact, he went out of his way to make it look like he wasn't going for the ball. This kind of "you get my guy, I'll get yours" philosophy is totally a baseball thing and it shocked me to see it in basketball. And later in the game, while it was already out of hand, benchwarming Heat player Dexter Pittman shot an elbow to Lance Stephenson's neck that would have made even Ron Artest cringe. And yes, he was caught winking at the camera shortly afterwards. And yes, it by no means was going for the ball; he was going at Stephenson. Of course, Stephenson notoriously made a choking face and motion to LeBron once. So I guess that warrants attempted murder on the court. And he only got a 3 game suspension.
Now I'm not one to bitch about officiating but tonight in game 2 against the Celtics things were out of hand. I didn't see game 1 but I can say the tech on Ray Allen was ridiculous. Nevertheless tonight probably topped it. LeBron got away with a goaltending that led to a DWade 3-point play on what was clearly a clean block and should have been either a travel or a jump ball. Rajon Rondo was called for a foul when LeBron James fell on him. Kevin Garnett was called for a technical foul when he tried to get control of the ball after getting punched in the face, more or less. Paul Pierce fouled out on one of the clearest straight-up plays I've ever seen; and yes, I know he left the ground, but you can do that and have it still be a charge if you're straight up and there before Wade, like he was. Dwyane Wade hit Rondo in the face on one of Rajon's layups and went uncalled. Dwyane Wade did his signature kick on Kevin Garnett as he went in for the layup and KG was called for it.
The call that pissed me off perhaps the most, though, was actually the right call. Rondo made a deep 2 that was called a 3. The replay clearly showed that he was on the line, but it was ruled a 3 on the court and wasn't changed until 2 possessions later. That made no sense to me that it could be changed that much later. It would have made sense if after he made it, the Heat called a timeout and they overruled it, but no, the refs waited until after Miami had made another basket. If Miami had known that was a 2, their strategy could have been completely different. That's the equivalent of someone making a field goal in the NFL and having it overturned in the next quarter, saying he didn't make it. The time in between just baffles me. And if they can change one thing like that, why can't they change another? Why couldn't they go back and call the Wade smacking Rondo in the face a foul? He was clearly hit and you couldn't deny that was a foul. This just doesn't make sense to me.
Now I'm always hesitant when it comes to conspiracy theories and there was some talk after game 1. I'm not going to go so far as to say David Stern is behind this, but I can say that that was some of the worst officiating I've ever seen. The Heat got every call possible, and they so happen to have 2 of the most popular players in the game. Draw whatever conclusions you want.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
The Great Gatsby Trailer...
Since the Robert Redford version in the 1970s was more or less a disaster, I wouldn't really consider it a remake if someone were to come along and do a straight adaptation of Fitzgerald's quintessential novel of the Jazz Age. However, Baz Luhrmann got the rights to the film and appears to be bringing his signature visual and anachronistic style to the project.
Before the trailer came out I can't remember a time I had been so excited for a movie without seeing the trailer. Why is that, you ask? Well probably the same reason everyone else is abuzz about the trailer: It's one of the greatest and most read novels in history and DiCaprio, one of the best and seems like a perfect choice for the titular character.
Once I finally saw the trailer I was overcome with such a mix of emotions, I don't really know where to begin. I suppose I'll start with Luhrmann himself, for he is probably the most stylistic mainstream director ever to walk the earth. I've only seen two of his films: Rome + Juliet and Moulin Rouge! and they were both decent, but had so many moments that just made me feel uncomfortable. With Romeo + Juliet for example, he took such a post-modern perspective with a barrage of colors, images, and music that it was overwhelming and the first five minutes felt like an extended trailer for a film. I would have called it a bad movie (due mostly to Benvolio, Mercutio, and Tybalt all being horribly adapted) were it not for DiCaprio's amazing performance as Romeo. With the exception of maybe The Aviator, I'd say it's his best ever. Nevertheless it's a film that you really have to get used to in order to watch it and it always bothers me that you have to do something weird with Shakespeare in order to get it watched by mainstream audiences. Nevertheless I saw Moulin Rouge!, Luhrmann's so far signature film, which was up for a bunch of Academy Awards and stuff. The visual style here served the film well because it was just a flashy musical, incorporating some things that never could have been done on stage. I didn't think it was a great movie, however, but a decent one. I also tried watching strictly Ballroom but turned it off after the first 10 minutes because I was horribly annoyed. I know you have to ease yourself into his films, but ultimately I didn't care that much; Romeo + Juliet was Shakespeare and I had heard great things about Moulin Rouge!, so I really wanted to see them.
Now on to the Gatsby trailer, released yesterday.
The first thing that struck me as odd was the music; did you ever expect to hear a Kanye West/Jay-Z song in an adaptation of an F Scott Fitzgerald novel? And I realize it's just in the trailer, but knowing Luhrmann, it's also in the film. I wish he would just make a straightforward adaptation of the novel. He could still get flashy with the visuals, showing the excess of the period, without going 3D (and yes, this film is in 3D) and using modern music. Sadly I don't think this jumped into the director's mind.
The next thing that bothered me was the narrator. It's Tobey Maguire. And yes, I knew Tobey Maguire would play Nick Carraway, but I was distressed to learn that months ago. Why? I'll put it simply: I hate Tobey Maguire. I think he's a terrible actor. I'm going off primarily one film when I say this, but he was so godawful in Spiderman that a decent performance in Seabiscuit can't win him any respect from me. There's just something about him; he's monotone, he mumbles, he looks kind of goofy. I don't know. But hearing his voice in his faux Midwest accent in the trailer just bothered me. He almost sounds like he belongs in Fargo, if you ask me. And yes, I'm from the Midwest, so I know what I'm talking about for once. Listen to him say the word "higher" or "bigger" and try not to laugh. What about the first thing he says? Is it "temper" or "tempo?" I don't know. What do you expect, casting a bad actor from Santa Monica to play a Minnesotan with ties to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin? This seems like a minor detail; I can't say for sure the character is completely ruined like Mercutio in Romeo + Juliet yet.
Now I'd be unfair to point out some good things about the trailer. The look of the film is what I'd expect, colorful and vibrant, both for a Luhrmann film and for an adaptation of the novel. The costumes and the sets look great. I like the part where Leo's tossing clothes down to Carey Mulligan, who also is cast perfectly. There is one point, however, where the car's driving down the road that looks a bit like a cartoon, and I guess I have mixed feelings on the New York skyline behind the bridge in the opening shot of the trailer, but for the most part it looks quite good. I just really hope this film has more of a basis in reality than Moulin Rouge! did. It worked in Moulin Rouge! like I said, but I don't think it would here.
And another thing I'd like to say is that I'm excited about DiCaprio. Yes, he's one of my favorite actors, and one of the better ones out there, but I'm really excited that he's not doing a stupid Boston accent for this one.
So despite my many complaints, I'll still be there in the theaters to see this on opening weekend, I'm sure. And while most of my complaints are about Luhrmann's style, that's not to say the film would not be a good one if it has his usual excess. I just don't think it would be the ideal adaptation that I would want to see. For instance, Romeo + Juliet is a good movie, but as far as actual Shakespeare adaptations goes, it doesn't touch the Branagh ones of the same period, because those stay truer to the feel and the setting, instead of just the dialogue.
Before the trailer came out I can't remember a time I had been so excited for a movie without seeing the trailer. Why is that, you ask? Well probably the same reason everyone else is abuzz about the trailer: It's one of the greatest and most read novels in history and DiCaprio, one of the best and seems like a perfect choice for the titular character.
Once I finally saw the trailer I was overcome with such a mix of emotions, I don't really know where to begin. I suppose I'll start with Luhrmann himself, for he is probably the most stylistic mainstream director ever to walk the earth. I've only seen two of his films: Rome + Juliet and Moulin Rouge! and they were both decent, but had so many moments that just made me feel uncomfortable. With Romeo + Juliet for example, he took such a post-modern perspective with a barrage of colors, images, and music that it was overwhelming and the first five minutes felt like an extended trailer for a film. I would have called it a bad movie (due mostly to Benvolio, Mercutio, and Tybalt all being horribly adapted) were it not for DiCaprio's amazing performance as Romeo. With the exception of maybe The Aviator, I'd say it's his best ever. Nevertheless it's a film that you really have to get used to in order to watch it and it always bothers me that you have to do something weird with Shakespeare in order to get it watched by mainstream audiences. Nevertheless I saw Moulin Rouge!, Luhrmann's so far signature film, which was up for a bunch of Academy Awards and stuff. The visual style here served the film well because it was just a flashy musical, incorporating some things that never could have been done on stage. I didn't think it was a great movie, however, but a decent one. I also tried watching strictly Ballroom but turned it off after the first 10 minutes because I was horribly annoyed. I know you have to ease yourself into his films, but ultimately I didn't care that much; Romeo + Juliet was Shakespeare and I had heard great things about Moulin Rouge!, so I really wanted to see them.
Now on to the Gatsby trailer, released yesterday.
The first thing that struck me as odd was the music; did you ever expect to hear a Kanye West/Jay-Z song in an adaptation of an F Scott Fitzgerald novel? And I realize it's just in the trailer, but knowing Luhrmann, it's also in the film. I wish he would just make a straightforward adaptation of the novel. He could still get flashy with the visuals, showing the excess of the period, without going 3D (and yes, this film is in 3D) and using modern music. Sadly I don't think this jumped into the director's mind.
The next thing that bothered me was the narrator. It's Tobey Maguire. And yes, I knew Tobey Maguire would play Nick Carraway, but I was distressed to learn that months ago. Why? I'll put it simply: I hate Tobey Maguire. I think he's a terrible actor. I'm going off primarily one film when I say this, but he was so godawful in Spiderman that a decent performance in Seabiscuit can't win him any respect from me. There's just something about him; he's monotone, he mumbles, he looks kind of goofy. I don't know. But hearing his voice in his faux Midwest accent in the trailer just bothered me. He almost sounds like he belongs in Fargo, if you ask me. And yes, I'm from the Midwest, so I know what I'm talking about for once. Listen to him say the word "higher" or "bigger" and try not to laugh. What about the first thing he says? Is it "temper" or "tempo?" I don't know. What do you expect, casting a bad actor from Santa Monica to play a Minnesotan with ties to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin? This seems like a minor detail; I can't say for sure the character is completely ruined like Mercutio in Romeo + Juliet yet.
Now I'd be unfair to point out some good things about the trailer. The look of the film is what I'd expect, colorful and vibrant, both for a Luhrmann film and for an adaptation of the novel. The costumes and the sets look great. I like the part where Leo's tossing clothes down to Carey Mulligan, who also is cast perfectly. There is one point, however, where the car's driving down the road that looks a bit like a cartoon, and I guess I have mixed feelings on the New York skyline behind the bridge in the opening shot of the trailer, but for the most part it looks quite good. I just really hope this film has more of a basis in reality than Moulin Rouge! did. It worked in Moulin Rouge! like I said, but I don't think it would here.
And another thing I'd like to say is that I'm excited about DiCaprio. Yes, he's one of my favorite actors, and one of the better ones out there, but I'm really excited that he's not doing a stupid Boston accent for this one.
So despite my many complaints, I'll still be there in the theaters to see this on opening weekend, I'm sure. And while most of my complaints are about Luhrmann's style, that's not to say the film would not be a good one if it has his usual excess. I just don't think it would be the ideal adaptation that I would want to see. For instance, Romeo + Juliet is a good movie, but as far as actual Shakespeare adaptations goes, it doesn't touch the Branagh ones of the same period, because those stay truer to the feel and the setting, instead of just the dialogue.
Monday, May 21, 2012
10 Best Albums by The Beatles and the Rolling Stones
The Beatles
1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
2. Revolver (1966)
3. Help! (1965)
4. Abbey Road (1969)
5. Rubber Soul (1965)
6. Please Please Me (1963)
7. Let It Be (1970)
8. A Hard Day's Night (1964)
9. The Beatles (The White Album) (1968)
10. Beatles for Sale (1965)
The Rolling Stones
1. Exile on Main St. (1972)
2. Sticky Fingers (1971)
3. Let It Bleed (1969)
4. Beggars Banquet (1968)
5. Aftermath (1966)
6. Some Girls (1978)
7. A Bigger Bang (2005)
8. Tattoo You (1981)
9. The Rolling Stones No. 2 (1965)
10. Their Satanic Majesties Request (1967)
10 Best Between the Two:
1. Exile on Main St. by the Rolling Stones
2. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles
3. Revolver by The Beatles
4. Sticky Fingers by the Rolling Stones
5. Let It Bleed by the Rolling Stones
6. Help! by the Beatles
7. Abbey Road by The Beatles
8. Beggars Banquet by the Rolling Stones (1968)
9. Rubber Soul by the Beatles (1965)
10. Please Please Me by The Beatles (1963)
1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
2. Revolver (1966)
3. Help! (1965)
4. Abbey Road (1969)
5. Rubber Soul (1965)
6. Please Please Me (1963)
7. Let It Be (1970)
8. A Hard Day's Night (1964)
9. The Beatles (The White Album) (1968)
10. Beatles for Sale (1965)
The Rolling Stones
1. Exile on Main St. (1972)
2. Sticky Fingers (1971)
3. Let It Bleed (1969)
4. Beggars Banquet (1968)
5. Aftermath (1966)
6. Some Girls (1978)
7. A Bigger Bang (2005)
8. Tattoo You (1981)
9. The Rolling Stones No. 2 (1965)
10. Their Satanic Majesties Request (1967)
10 Best Between the Two:
1. Exile on Main St. by the Rolling Stones
2. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles
3. Revolver by The Beatles
4. Sticky Fingers by the Rolling Stones
5. Let It Bleed by the Rolling Stones
6. Help! by the Beatles
7. Abbey Road by The Beatles
8. Beggars Banquet by the Rolling Stones (1968)
9. Rubber Soul by the Beatles (1965)
10. Please Please Me by The Beatles (1963)
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Movies I Have Memorized
Some movies are just a lot easier to memorize than others. Others I've just seen a thousand times. This is a list of movies I am confident I have memorized:
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Back to the Future (1985)
Jurassic Park (1993)
Liar Liar (1997)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Shrek (2001)
Wayne's World (1992)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Movie that I haven't seen in 10 years but would not be surprised if I still had memorized:
The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Movies I'm incredibly close to memorizing:
Airplane! (1980)
Finding Nemo (2003)
Forrest Gump (1994)
The Good, the Bad & the Ugly (1966)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
The Naked Gun (1988)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Tommy (1975) - I'm sure I have everything but the few changed lyrics
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Back to the Future (1985)
Jurassic Park (1993)
Liar Liar (1997)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Shrek (2001)
Wayne's World (1992)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Movie that I haven't seen in 10 years but would not be surprised if I still had memorized:
The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Movies I'm incredibly close to memorizing:
Airplane! (1980)
Finding Nemo (2003)
Forrest Gump (1994)
The Good, the Bad & the Ugly (1966)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
The Naked Gun (1988)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Tommy (1975) - I'm sure I have everything but the few changed lyrics
Friday, May 4, 2012
Top 10 Laughably Awful Popular Songs
I've been criticizing top-40 music for a long time, and for one good reason: it sucks. Most of it. There are some good songs, I will admit, but considering the amount of radioplay some of these frauds get, our society should be offended. Expect lots of Nicki Minaj.
10. Beez in the Trap by Nicki Minaj feat. whoever the hell is desperate enough to do this stupid song with her
The song opens with the chorus, which is...confusing to say the least. What does it mean? 2 Chainz does a tolerable job with his verse, but then it's back to Nicki. And the one thing funnier than seeing her move around in a green wig (yes, a green wig) is her rapping in this song. There's a bridge with this weird electronic noise happening that makes it sound like your speakers are breaking. Why would anyone want to put that in a song? Nicki Minaj of course ends the song by naming as many cities as she knows, including "Ohio, Pittsburgh...Saint Louis." Yep.
9. Best Love Song by T-Pain feat. Chris Brown
The first time I heard the chorus to this song, I almost got into a car accident I was laughing so hard. And that was before I knew the title to this song, which made me laugh once I saw it. Now I hate Chris Brown as much as I hate myself, but he does nothing wrong in this song; it's completely destroyed by T-Pain's stupid autotune antics. And I know that's his thing, but there's only so much a man can take.When he goes "yeah yeah yeah yeah" in that echoing goofily autotuned voice of his, I can't help but laugh.
8. Who Owns My Heart by Miley Cyrus
The line "who owns my heart/is it love or is it art" is itself enough to put the song in the list. That's the epitome of writing a word and desperately needing one to rhyme with it. So she went with art, coincidentally the exact opposite of what this song is.
7. Give Me Everything by Pitbull feat. Nayer and Ne-Yo
The song that teaches you Kodak rhymes with Kodak, and also the rare product placement in the song for Pitbull, when it's usually just in the video. Nonetheless, this song is horrendous, with Nayer whispering the bridge, likely because she can't sing. And then there's that goofy synthesizer beat during the Ne-Yo parts.
6. Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj ruins what's actually a pretty sick beat by making an obnoxious "woo woo" noise in the background the entire song and putting together some of the worst lyrics ever written. It's 2012 (maybe '11 when this was made) and she makes a Brad &Angelina/Jennifer Aniston joke. Didn't that wear out in 2006? Add a year-old BP joke, an overly repetitive chorus, and one of those painfully long obnoxious Nicki Minaj note-holds and you have one of the worst songs ever made.
5. Hard in Da Paint by Waka Flocka Flame
That's right. The anthem of first floor Loschert '11-'12 is in this list. Primarily because it'san anthem out of stupidity. One can't even say Waka Flocka is producing rap in this song; he's simply making noise. It's so hilarious that it essentially becomes a great song, something I can't say about any of the others in this list.
4. How to Love by Lil Wayne
This song is in this list for one primary reason: LIL WAYNE'S VOICE. This is coming from a Bob Dylan fan that I can literally not listen to this song. It's so painful. His voice is bad enough when he's rapping, but when he sings it's like nails on a chalkboard. And on a minor note, he erases any and all emotional impact this song could have had by him mentioning that the woman in the song is a bartender or stripper...as if that's the only woman he could imagine. Now I'm not a feminist by any means, but this just goes to show you how stupid and unimaginitive Lil Wayne is.
3. Peacock by Katy Perry
Easily the low point of what I actually consider a solid album. This song is the dumbest, most in your face innuendo I've ever heard, and it's the ENTIRE SONG.
2. My Chick Bad by Ludacris feat. Nicki Minaj
Everything about this song is just horrendous. Actually Nicki's verse it the most tolerable part, so let that be an indication of how horrible this is. Ludacris is rapping about stuff and then stopping and saying one word that kind of connects with what he just rapped about, you know, like Lil Wayne does in all of his songs. Here it's painful. The Homer Simpson part is the highlight.
1. Dance (A$$ Remix) by Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj
What can I say about this song that I haven't already said. It's guaranteed to make u stupider.
10. Beez in the Trap by Nicki Minaj feat. whoever the hell is desperate enough to do this stupid song with her
The song opens with the chorus, which is...confusing to say the least. What does it mean? 2 Chainz does a tolerable job with his verse, but then it's back to Nicki. And the one thing funnier than seeing her move around in a green wig (yes, a green wig) is her rapping in this song. There's a bridge with this weird electronic noise happening that makes it sound like your speakers are breaking. Why would anyone want to put that in a song? Nicki Minaj of course ends the song by naming as many cities as she knows, including "Ohio, Pittsburgh...Saint Louis." Yep.
9. Best Love Song by T-Pain feat. Chris Brown
The first time I heard the chorus to this song, I almost got into a car accident I was laughing so hard. And that was before I knew the title to this song, which made me laugh once I saw it. Now I hate Chris Brown as much as I hate myself, but he does nothing wrong in this song; it's completely destroyed by T-Pain's stupid autotune antics. And I know that's his thing, but there's only so much a man can take.When he goes "yeah yeah yeah yeah" in that echoing goofily autotuned voice of his, I can't help but laugh.
8. Who Owns My Heart by Miley Cyrus
The line "who owns my heart/is it love or is it art" is itself enough to put the song in the list. That's the epitome of writing a word and desperately needing one to rhyme with it. So she went with art, coincidentally the exact opposite of what this song is.
7. Give Me Everything by Pitbull feat. Nayer and Ne-Yo
The song that teaches you Kodak rhymes with Kodak, and also the rare product placement in the song for Pitbull, when it's usually just in the video. Nonetheless, this song is horrendous, with Nayer whispering the bridge, likely because she can't sing. And then there's that goofy synthesizer beat during the Ne-Yo parts.
6. Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj ruins what's actually a pretty sick beat by making an obnoxious "woo woo" noise in the background the entire song and putting together some of the worst lyrics ever written. It's 2012 (maybe '11 when this was made) and she makes a Brad &Angelina/Jennifer Aniston joke. Didn't that wear out in 2006? Add a year-old BP joke, an overly repetitive chorus, and one of those painfully long obnoxious Nicki Minaj note-holds and you have one of the worst songs ever made.
5. Hard in Da Paint by Waka Flocka Flame
That's right. The anthem of first floor Loschert '11-'12 is in this list. Primarily because it'san anthem out of stupidity. One can't even say Waka Flocka is producing rap in this song; he's simply making noise. It's so hilarious that it essentially becomes a great song, something I can't say about any of the others in this list.
4. How to Love by Lil Wayne
This song is in this list for one primary reason: LIL WAYNE'S VOICE. This is coming from a Bob Dylan fan that I can literally not listen to this song. It's so painful. His voice is bad enough when he's rapping, but when he sings it's like nails on a chalkboard. And on a minor note, he erases any and all emotional impact this song could have had by him mentioning that the woman in the song is a bartender or stripper...as if that's the only woman he could imagine. Now I'm not a feminist by any means, but this just goes to show you how stupid and unimaginitive Lil Wayne is.
3. Peacock by Katy Perry
Easily the low point of what I actually consider a solid album. This song is the dumbest, most in your face innuendo I've ever heard, and it's the ENTIRE SONG.
2. My Chick Bad by Ludacris feat. Nicki Minaj
Everything about this song is just horrendous. Actually Nicki's verse it the most tolerable part, so let that be an indication of how horrible this is. Ludacris is rapping about stuff and then stopping and saying one word that kind of connects with what he just rapped about, you know, like Lil Wayne does in all of his songs. Here it's painful. The Homer Simpson part is the highlight.
1. Dance (A$$ Remix) by Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj
What can I say about this song that I haven't already said. It's guaranteed to make u stupider.
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