How to Become a Successful Rapper - A step-by-step guide

There's really quite a simple formula to it all.

1. Be proud of your hometown. If you happen to be from Evanston, claim to be from the hood of Chicago. Reference this constantly. Occasionally to mix things up, use the area code instead of your city name. (See Dr. Dre, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Pitbull, etc.)
2. Use the word "fuck" as a verb frequently, and also the word "nigga." It can be argued that the latter is only for black people, but Drake is biracial and uses it just as much as anyone. So a slippery slope, obviously, but can be used to great effect. (See Waka Flocka Flame, Drake, etc.)
3. Get Rihanna to sing a chorus for you. (See Jay-Z, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, etc.)
4. Can't do an entire song by yourself? 3 minutes too much for you? Not to worry! Get Nicki Minaj to do a verse. It may make no sense and be excruciating to the ears, but hey, it's all about the airtime! (See Lil Wayne, Drake, B.O.B., etc.) Also works with Rick Ross. (See French Montana, DJ Khaled, Kanye West, etc.)
5. Do a song with David Guetta. (See Nicki Minaj, Flo Rida, etc.)
6. A stupid sounding nickname (supplementary to your stage name) never hurts, and then say as often as possible, in case they forget who you are. (See Young Hov, Roman Zolanski/Barbie or whatever, Drizzy, Chris Breezy, Rozay, Lil Tunechi, Weezy F, Mr. 305, Mr. Worldwide, etc.)
7. Say the name of your music label in every song, or have some annoying sounding, artificially stuttering woman do it for you. (See Young Moolah Baby, Mmmmmmmmaybach Music, Rocafella, etc.)
8. If you're young and new to the scene, team up with veterans who've been around and know what they're doing. (See Royce da 5'9'', Kendrick Lamarr, etc.)
9. Make diss tracks. Even if it's with people you've happily collaborated with before. It gets the people talking. (See Lil Wayne, Pusha T, Nicki Minaj, Notorious B.I.G., Tupac)
10. Be part of "ensemble" songs. While your royalty check won't be as big, it's certain to get you more exposure and it can be a good way to win a Grammy. (See "All of the Lights," "Bedrock," "Mercy," "Pop That," etc.)
11. Make frequent mixtapes. Even if they suck really bad, just make a lot of them. Eventually you'll have a semi-popular song, I suppose. (See Lil Wayne.)
12. Smoke weed. Don't be subtle about it, either. (See Wiz Khalifa, Snoop Dogg, Lil Wayne, etc.)
13. Even years after you've been a multi-millionaire and a member of the "1%," continue to rap about how you grew up poor and had to sell drugs. Perhaps even take your stage name from a known drug dealer that you have nothing to do with. Also continue to rap about how you're persecuted, even when you're the most respected person in the music industry. (See Jay-Z, Kanye West, Rick Ross, Eminem, etc.)

If you follow these thirteen simple instructions, there should be no reason why you're not a successful rapper. Notice how "having talent" isn't one of the steps to follow, although it obviously can't hurt.