“Lighters” by Bad Meets Evil feat. Bruno Mars. Also known as Eminem, Bruno Mars, and that other guy.
The lyric I just don’t get: “Now his career’s LeBron’s jersey in twenty years.”
Why I don’t get it: What the hell does it mean? LeBron’s jersey in twenty years as in way too tight, assuming LeBron will gain weight by the time he is 47? To understand this lyric (I think) one must observe LeBron’s career. He spent a lot of time in Cleveland and was loved by just about everyone except me. He wore number 23. Then, proving that he was one of sports’ biggest assholes, he held a press conference to announce he was going to Miami, and his jersey number was now 6. Could this mean that in 20 years, his jersey number will be 17 lower than 6, being -11? Does this lyric mean that his career will be forgotten, as LeBron James might be in twenty years? Does this mean his career will be regarded as the best ever, as LeBron James might be in twenty years? I don’t know. Someone please help me.
“Fly” by Nicki Minaj feat. Rihanna
The lyric I just don’t get: “I am not fly; I am levitation. I represent an entire generation.”
Why I don’t get it: Let’s examine the first part first. I am not fly. Ok. Fly is often used as a word to describe someone cool, as an adjective. I am levitation. Ok…well levitation is a noun and what the hell does that mean? Flying and levitating are similar but different things. Is Nicki trying to say that she is cooler than fly, that she levitates? If she’s going to use levitation as a noun (which she does, since it is not an adjective) then I would think that being able to fly would be a lot cooler than being able to levitate. You could go anywhere, instead of just hover around awkwardly. And now the second part. Nicki Minaj claims to represent an entire generation. This is what really pisses me off. Never before has someone publicly said they represent an entire generation, even if they basically do. Not Babe Ruth, not Marilyn Monroe, not Frank Sinatra, not Elvis Presley, not John Lennon, not Michael Jackson, not William Shatner. So that just points out what a huge cocky asshole Nicki Minaj is. And secondly, how does she represent an entire generation? I’m only ten years younger than her, so I consider myself part of the same generation. Does she represent an entire generation by wearing weird stupid wigs and outfits? Umm…no. There are some people out there who do it (mostly to be like either her or Gaga) but by no means does it come even close to a generation. Does she represent an entire generation by making weird faces when she raps? Again, no. Does she represent an entire generation by putting down the most painful (and pointless) verse in music history, on Dance (A$$) Remix by Big Sean in which she holds the most uncomfortable note in history for far too long? God, I hope not. What about by rapping on a Willow song? HELL NO.
“Grenade” by Bruno Mars
The lyric I just don’t get: The entire chorus.
Why I don’t get it: Catching a grenade for someone does by no means signify your love for them. Yeah, you’re willing to die for them, big deal, I get it. But if you happen to be with the person you love, catching the grenade could easily kill them. In a study I conducted using (formerly) living people, I tested how far Bruno has to be from this chick that he so loves in order for his grenade catching to be worth anything. My first study, with Bruno five feet and seven inches away from the woman (please note that this is a somewhat large distance for two people who love each other) left both Bruno and the woman dead. It turns out that a standard grenade has a blast radius of 49.21 feet. My second study had Bruno standing sixty feet away from the woman, which would keep her from the explosion. However, the blast fragments from the grenade could be launched an additional thirty feet, thus impaling her and holding her intestines together. In the third study there is a distance of 85 feet so no blast fragments hit her and she is unharmed. Basically, Bruno, you have to be 85 feet away from your woman to make an ounce of difference. And on top of all of this, what if the grenade is going to sail over their heads, and then Bruno makes his catch? That would kill them when they easily could have lived.
“Set Fire to Lorraine” by Adele
The lyric I just don’t get: Again, the entire chorus
Why I don’t get it: Why the hell does Adele want to set a woman named Lorraine on fire?
Sky’s the Limit by Lil Wayne
The lyric I just don’t get: “And when I was 5 my favorite movie was the Gremlins, ain’t got shit to do with this, but I just thought that I should mention”
Why I don’t get it: Basically in short, why was this included in a song? He literally says in the song that it has nothing to do with the song. Anyone who says that Lil Wayne is a great artist, I always point them to this lyric because it so mind-numbingly awful. This is the number one reason why I hate Lil Wayne; it has nothing to do with talent or the fact that all he does is smoke weed and butcher guitar solos. It is because he includes stupid and pointless lyrics in many of his songs. And yes, though this is clearly the worst example, it serves as a microcosm for many of his other lyrics which are quite bad. Also, can I just point out that the movie isn’t called The Gremlins; it’s Gremlins.
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