I stumbled upon what can easily be called the worst creation in the history of humanity last night. I honestly laughed through the entire music video.
The song is Dance (A$$) Remix by Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj and it is just awful. I had never heard of Big Sean before in my life, but I admit to being somewhat of a Nicki Minaj fan. She's become ridiculously popular basically just because she's a woman rapper, but she is capable of laying down some pretty sick verses (check out Roman's Revenge if you don't believe me). And in addition to that, she's kind of become the Lady Gaga of rap music; she dresses weird, she makes weird faces, she wears wigs, and she's just flat-out weird.
Now I could spend forever talking about how this song and video represents a new low in American society in objectifying and dehumanizing women and how according to Nicki Minaj them wanting to be objectified and dehumanized, but aside from that, it's still an awful song. I believe Abraham Lincoln said it best: "I like rap best when it actually has something significant to say, not just rapping about hoes and smoking pot. That having been said, on occasion I do enjoy me some good rapping about hoes."
I'll essentially review the music video because I think it and the song are pretty much a package deal. You can't appreciate one's awfulness without looking at the other.
It begins with the chorus, which is I shit you not, Big Sean saying the word "ass" over and over again. Eventually they distort his voice so that it's really deep and creepy and stuff but he's still saying the same word over and over again. Accompanying this, the music video puts the word "ass" up on the screen in a different language for each time he says it. And then he says "stop. Now make that motherfucker hammer time." And then it skips into the hook of MC Hammer's U Can't Touch This. That's right. This song does not even bother coming up with a mildly original hook. So for a while it's just Big Sean on a throne with a bunch of different women.
Then the verse starts with the words "wobblede wobblede wob wobble wobble". Artistic brilliance right there. Then he just raps about how he's rich and how he likes asses and how he's attractive for a while, sometimes wearing a plain red hat and sometimes with the hat saying "Redskins" on it. I don't get it. Then we go back to the painfully annoying chorus, and then it's hammer time again I guess, with Big Sean saying the "go stupid" over and over again. Does he know what irony means?
Then in comes Nicki, clad ridiculously in a revealing British flag outfit. But hey, at least her hair is a natural color for once. She introduces her verse with the same nonsensical lyrics as Big Sean did, then she raps about how her ass is so big and "all these bitches' pussies is throbbin'." She goes on with her rap, making ridiculous faces as usual, until she gets to this one note or whatever that is just eeeeeeeeee for like ten seconds and it's just unpleasant to the ears, I don't really know what else to say. And it's all the more unpleasant because it's not just her normal voice, but it's like an intentionally annoying voice. And then she continues with my favorite lyric of the song: "Kiss my ass, lick my anus/'cause it's finally famous". Eventually she starts bouncing up and down with her eyes wide going "woo woo woo" like she's insane. And then we get into the chorus, with not just the distorted voice of Big Sean but Nicki Minaj's exaggerated nasally rendition of "ass ass ass ass ass ass ass". It's just painful. And then it's hammer time again.
Then Big Sean lists all the different types of girls there are, and then it's back to the obnoxious chorus. The song ends with the echoing words "go stupid", indicating exactly what will happen to you whenever you listen to this song.
I am convinced that this is the worst song ever made. The combination of the chorus, the pathetic rap lyrics, the hook being not just a reference to another song but a complete copy, Nicki's unpleasantly-long note hold, and just the fact that it's incredibly superficial makes this song absolutely unbearable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn1VGytzXus&ob=av2e
Above is the link to the video if you dare but PLEASE GOD dislike this video. The fact that it's gotten a single "like" is a testament to what is wrong with today's society.
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